There's something wrong with my vagina!

Rightio, where were we? Once in a while Sam and I have been subject to Molly's newest and weirdest affectations. Like the whole week that she took on a fully Bostonian accent. She would yell things like "Ma!" and drop all her R's and generally just sound as though she had been taken over by an old Bostonian poltergeist. She was also a little more saucy that week.

We never found out where she learned to speak Bostonian, but great things came from it. For example the time I was trying to have a rare adult conversation - by which I only mean without a child, not a particularly racy one - with my friend Jo and I could not stop laughing. Finally I had to explain that Molly had decided that she was not going to nap today, and instead of snuggling down with her cute teddy bear like most people's cherubs do, she was going to lay in her bed and yell at the top of her lungs, many many times; "Mah! Thehs soooooommmthing wrong with mah vaginaaaaaa!!!" so that surely the neighbours must also agree that I need to take my child to a doctor and fast, because her Bostonian vagina must be on fire! The best part of the fallback from this phase is that Jo and I ended up making each other oddly similar Christmas decorations adorned with a redhead yelling "there's something wrong with my vagina!" Bet your Christmas ornaments aren't that funny. If they are, please share.

A few weeks ago she started calling her little Tinkerbell suitcase "my leetle friend" and pretty menacingly reciting "Say hello to my leetle friend" to everyone while displaying her suitcase proudly. She also took up wiping out displays of toys in her room just after saying that creepy sentence in her new Italian accent. So where the hell did my three year old learn SCARFACE?? We don't really watch a lot of TV so Italian week and the Scarface reference is a puzzle we haven't solved just yet. Which brings me to Japanese week.

This week Molly started doing what in my opinion seemed like a decent impression of speaking fluent Japanese. I would ask her what she wanted for breakfast and she would answer sushi, and then she would happily eat her rice cereal while reciting what I could only guess was a three year old's version of Haiku. But the icing on the Japanese cake came when she got home from daycare and started staring intently in my eyes while saying "Arigatooooo" and seemingly trying to hypnotize me. So "Arigato" I replied, things got a bit more intense. "Mom! Arigato!"  "okay honey, Arigato!" this is when she looked like she might karate kick my ass across the kitchen floor, she stomped out of the room yelling "Arigato is Japanese for thank you. So you say you're Welcome' dammit!"

First Japanese lesson, over.