These are the little gems I procured while shopping with my tiny evil genius today.
At my hubby's work a well dressed and quite proper woman set my daughter up for her FIRST. AWESOME. JOKE! She has been trying joking lately but most of them have been pretty meh.
To be clear I am not sure how much the woman appreciated it but Sam and the staff at his workplace thought it was as golden, as did I.
The woman looked at Molly in her pigtails and cuteness and said "Wow, don't you have the most beautiful red hair!" to which Molly replied "Yep, I'm a redhead. Better than a redneck!" and then guffawed like a drunk maniac...I am so proud.
Next we popped by Santa's workshop at ye olde mall, where she proceeded to place an order with Santa for "a fish, a duck, a swan and a mermaid" A slightly older man overheard her request and asked if she wanted real animals which earned him a seriously scrunched up nose. "of course not! They would poop all over Santa's bag!" and then as we walked away she gave me a conspiratorial look and said "Mom, that guy doesn't know mermaids aren't real! Do you believe that?"
She was clearly filled with the spirit of the season, and I don't mean that of the psycho shoppers. She hugged EVERYONE we met up with today, invited the woman at the grocery store to come meet our chickens and eat some eggs and told her that the eggs "Just POP! Right out of the Chicken Buts! Can you believe it? It's CRAZY!"
She told me Jeff, our friend who prints my stickers and canvases, was "just wonderful" and on the drive over wondered aloud if she told him she loved him if he would say he loved her back. She told me he is such an amazing guy for "just printing all those stickers and having water and candy in his office." and when we arrived at Jeff's she shyly blurted out "Jeff! I just love you!" and thankfully she WAS rewarded with an "i love you" in return. In the truck on the way home she said, "I am so glad he loved me back, if he didn't I was going to hide in my own pants."
And then the piece de resistance was her "Christmas Song", a real gem. After a day of shopping on the drive home Molly asked me if she could sing me a Christmas song. And now I share it will all of you in all it's yuletide glory.
"Cats eat birds, and dogs eat birds.
They grab up the birds and they crunch, crunch crunch.
Kittens eat birds, yep bi-i-irds,
they all eat birds and they chew them all up.
They chew chew chew chew cheee--ee-ew
What comes next? Well they go outside
and of course they take a po-oo-ooop"
Merry Christmannukaholidaykwanzayule.
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